Gabriel Rumbaut's Blog

Confessions of an Earthbound Misfit

Was Everyone as Insane as I Was?

I came across a Mother’s Day card I drew in school when I was a kid. It has convinced me that I was a hardcore drug addict when I was young, losing years of my life to LSD and other hallucinogens. That’s the only way to explain the sheer randomness that you’re about to see.

If I received this card, I would’ve tossed my kid into rehab…

The Hallmark Pages

The card begins normally enough, with the standard kid chicken scratch writing and doggerel.Happy Mother's Day!Yes they are so special

Random Insanity

And then the randomness begins. I seriously wonder what in the world was running through my mind when I wrote these things.

Man. That acid trip must have been really intense. It all makes sense though. It’s Mother’s Day, so the planet gets a galactic ice cream cone.

Let’s break this down. Superman thinks he can fly, so he jumps up into the air. He actually can’t, so he crashes to the ground and dies, every bone in his body broken. The people–completely ungrateful for the times he’s saved the world from the galactic ice cream cones–bury him with a tombstone that says “Here Lies Stupid Man.”ย  His ghost leaves, finally able to fly in death.

I must’ve been dropping some really bad acid. I don’t even know what’s going on here. The caption reads, “New and Improved Glue-down–Yes you can glue yourself to anything and never get free.” The text on the left says, “Superman (continued).” I don’t even know how to dissect this. Superman’s ghost flies and slowly disintegrates into a headless, armless spirit? He winds up getting stepped on by a random guy walking past some falling tree?

Is that another tombstone on the right? Nowadays, this many references to death in a school project is enough to warrant suspension, a call to the FBI, and a press conference.

I’m actually rather proud of this page. I think I’m kind of clever.

With the drugs finally wearing off, I apparently decided to bring it back around to the holiday.

Anyone else have any weird drawings from when they were young?


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17 thoughts on “Was Everyone as Insane as I Was?

  1. Oh my gosh, I’m cracking up. That was awesome!

    Love the cough medicine page. Reminds me of the twins in Harry Potter with their gadgets and pranks and whatnot!

  2. Author Kristen Lamb on said:

    LMAO. Too funny! I had an art project from when I was three and we had to cut people out of a catalog to be Mom, Dad, etc….and apparently I was a very white, blonde-haired green-eyed girl born…of black parents.

  3. LOL

    All kids have morbid fascinations. Death is a common theme in my children’s playacting. Don’t worry, I’ve heard some pretty crazy stories from my three (including the one about my daughter’s Magic Balloon-Bursting hair). You’re not alone in your childhood weirdness. ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Aw, I think it’s sweet! At least you can tell what your stuff is, most of my drawings from that time look like crippled marshmallows with legs. LOL! ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. OMG that’s hilarious!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. “here lies stupid man.” LoL! That was my favorite.
    I used to write cards that were insane. I guess we both found the same dealer that wouldn’t card anyone not even a six yr old.

  7. This is seriously riotous! I’m loving the whole Super Man scenario– although the giant ice cream cone is impressive.

    When I was in 3rd grade my best friend and I wrote a weekly newspaper chronicling the rather “rude” behaviors of stick figures. We were forced to cease the presses when our ‘not so amused’ teacher confiscated our stock after a dissatisfied reader complained. I really would love to see some of those back issues now ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. Hilarious! I so wish I’d kept some of the stuff like that I did as a kid. I think my Mom quietly threw it all out when I wasn’t looking. I was her 7th kid and by then the charm had probably worn off! I’m guessing you delivered some verbal explanations along with the card.

  9. Oh, my goodness!! So…funny. I know I’ve got some cards saved from each of my kids that will prove just as baffling one day….LOL!!

  10. This made me do the hand over mouth laugh where I suck air and say, “Oh, no!” a lot. It reminds me of some of my youngest son’s drawings. (He’s all grown up and on his own and doing fine, so it’s okay.)

    You were a very creative child. Thanks for sharing. The laugh felt great!!!

  11. I have a comic that I drew as a child…I know I posted it one day in my blog, I’ll see if I can rustle it up. ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. ROFL. I remember making my mom a jewelry box out of cotton balls and a plastic box for a deck of cards. Now, apparently my mom didn’t even know what it was but politely never said anything. It wasn’t until 20 something years later, when we were going through old boxes, that we found the alleged jewelry box and I laughed and said what a goofy jewelry box it was. That’s when she admitted she never guessed what it was. I was stunned. LOL

  13. I think your teacher gave you waaaaaay too much time to make the card–you just took off in flights of fancy until she must have finally said, “Okay you have five minutes to finish.” That brought you right back to the purpose of the card–just too funny.
    Question–do you do that when your write now?

  14. OMG! This is a hoot! I’ve been mining my mom’s old papers and have found some old cards and stuff, too, but I think yours come closer to revealing deep-seated childhood craziness, hahahahahahaha!

  15. That’s pretty cool. I do have a file filled with my bizarre childhood drawings.

  16. Pingback: Was Everyone as Insane as I Was? (Part Deux) « Gabriel Rumbaut

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